So the question was asked: Where would you rather raise your kids: Laguna Beach or Utah? I'm guessing the question was raised because these two places are viewed as the extremes (when talking about levels of goodness) and if given the choice, which extreme would one choose?
It actually made for a good debate.
Utah on one hand has a majority of Mormons. Your kids are surrounded by others who know your values and where you stand. When surrounded by "goodness" does one not tend to be good?
Laguna Beach on the other hand has a majority of "free-thinkers." The high school is documented as the most common drug and alcohol use in Orange County. Therefore, your kids are surrounded by others who don't share your values and don't know where you stand. When surrounded by not such "goodness" does one tend not to be good?
That's the question. Can you raise your kids with the appropriate values and then let them govern themselves accordingly in both environments? I would think I would feel secure in either place. However, regardless of where I lived, I would pray fervently that my child make good choices. In both places, (I believe) my child would be tempted to be either different from the mold (Utah) or go along with the group (Laguna Beach).
Peer pressure is a HUGE thing. Peer pressure to be good or peer pressure to be bad. Will my child choose the "forbidden fruit" or be happy with the surrounding fruit?
Free-agency is such a tricky thing. We want our children to be able to make choices but we crave the ability to force them to make good choices.
The question is: Does living in a certain state or town create a better opportunity for our children to make those good choices? I personally believe the answer is YES and it does matter.
I'm just not sure what place that is so I'm choosing the one with the ocean view. :)
7 comments:
I experienced high school in California and Utah. Although `I did not go to school at Faguna Beach HS, I did attend a school wher 98% of the kids had no Idea what mormons were. My opinion is that Utah is a good place to raise kids from grades Kindergarten to 1st grade and after that...get the hell out.
I am depressed just thinking about my 2 years at Timpview HS. I got in a fight because a kid asked me why I was wearing a Rip Curl shirt in Utah and called me a "poser". A week later I saw the same kid at a fundraising booth at school wearing a wetsuit and holding a surfboard trying to raise money for a group "surf trip" to Australia. One of the funniest moments in my life, period.
Kids in Utah, or at least at Timpview HS, did not extend a hand to new people like we did here in Cali. I was looked at like the only black kid in school. Maybe It was me who had the problem, maybe I had a chip on my shoulder but none the less I always caught myself singing these words as I roamed the halls...."I'm goin back to cali, cali, cali, I'm goin back to cali..hmm, I don't think so. L.L. was da man.
sorry, last post by shackie
I spent 6th through 11th grade in South America, where very few people were church members (our family, and maybe 1-2 others).
We moved back to Utah my senior year and the two schools were extremely similar. The halls of both schools were filled with profanity, girlie posters, and couples making out. (This was in Kaysville, people.)
Both schools had kids involved in drugs, teenage pregnancies, and kids smoking behind the dumpster.
In Venezuela, I didn't smoke or cuss because I was a Mormon. That excused didn't wash in Utah because they were all Mormons. It was tougher to 'choose the right' in Utah because the negative peer pressure came from other church members.
Side note - it cracks me up when people in Utah swear. In other parts of the US, people use profanity to add color and seasoning to their stories. In Utah, people clumsily wield swear words for shock value. They'll yell a swear word, then look around to see if anyone was shocked. Cracks me up.
Anyway, one thing that Utah did offer was the opportunity to mingle with likeminded kids. They did not represent a majority of the class, but you could find them if you tried. I think there were 50 kids from my stake on missions at the same time (the same stake has 68 kids out right now), but that doesn't change the fact that in my home ward, only 4 out of 30 guys my age served missions.
Living in Utah is no guarantee that your kids will turn out good. Californians moving to Utah in the 90s to keep their kids out of gangs just brought the gangs with them.
I would argue that you have the best odds if you have home evening, family prayer, and daily scripture time - regardless of what the people around you are doing.
That's my 2 cents.
Jim
How bout them Lakers.
Never have liked the Lakers much. . .they're good, but I can't stand them.
Kobe's good too, but he's no MJ.
Just to let everyone know, I have started deleting some comments from "anonymous" that I feel have been written with a venom meant to hurt but instead have only produced laughs.
This lady was a nurse of Rickys, 25 years ago. She was a lesbian back then and her and her partner stole from my family and were caught red-handed. My dad obviously fired her. She still has pent up feelings from that day....which is a long time to carry a grudge.
I was fired from the movie theatres around the same time for watching movies rather than doing work. Unlike her, I haven't sought out my manager or his blog nor do I even remember his name.
My family must have had a great impact on this lady. She remembers details that even I have forgotten.
Anyway, it was fun for a day, but I've had to alter my blog a bit to not allow lurkers such as this to post anonymously.
I hope she has let it all out and can now go about her life. 25 years is a long time to bottle up all this hate. In a way, I feel sorry for her.
Sorry I'm getting in on this a little late, but wanted to chime in on the topic. The first 14 years of my life I grew up in Arlington, VA. Both my parents have Utah roots and after their divorce my mom wanted to return to Utah since that was where most of her support system was. I didn't want to go, but my older brother did. He had got mixed up with bad crowd and teenage drinking at the High School, he felt that moving to Utah would give him a clean slate. Even in my Middle school alcohol, sex, and drug use were prevalent issues. We moved to Provo and attended Provo High School. (By the way, Timpview does SUCK and Shackie, it's no surprise you were treated the way you were at that school :). Anyway, made some great friends at church and at school. It really was a great support system to stay on the straight and narrow, especially for a single mother. I hear about how easy it is to get drugs or alcohol at school these days. In my High School experience, in Utah, I was never exposed to any alcohol, drugs, or any of the like that I was aware of. The Church was so entrenched in the school it wasn't cool to do any of those things. All the cool kids were into going to church and doing the right things. I'm not saying there weren't negative influences, but they were looked down upon heavily, rather than accepted as a part of the experience. Going to school at Provo High was heavily "sheltered", but isn't that what we are trying to create in our homes, a shelter from worldly influences? There is a stigma attached to the word "sheltered", that kids that are sheltered will crumble when they reach the outside world, but when it is joined together with awareness on the part of parents I think it gives a powerful foundation. I'm not saying you can't get that outside of Utah, you obviously can, but I sometimes wonder if I would be where I am today If my mom hadn't moved us to Provo.
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