Does judging others lead to hate?
Most people believe that we "shouldn't judge others, lest we be judged." I think that works in many instances but I also think there are times when we need to judge others, especially as parents. It has been said, (and I for one am a big believer of this) that our children's friends are HUGE contributors to how our children will turn out. Therefore, is it not our right and duty as parents to judge others and help our children make right choices when it comes to friends? But then as we make that judgment, are we not then showing "hate" towards a particular family and/or lifestyle?
It gets into a little gray area, doesn't it? Some like "Anonymous" would have us believe that very thing. If I don't allow my daughter to be friends with a group of people that practices what I deem immoral behavior, then I am being hateful....which in turn makes me a bigot or a racist or a hater. When in reality, I believe that I am (as a parent) helping her not put herself in situations where peer pressure might make her do things that she doesn't want to do.
Example #1: My daughter wants to hang out with a group of people who like to smoke. I don't want my daughter to smoke. So I say, "You can't hang out with those people." Does this reaction make me a bigot towards smokers or just a good parent?
Example #2: My daughter wants to go to parties where underage kids drink alcohol. I don't want her to drink alcohol so I tell her she can't go and hang out with those kids. Does this make me a bigot towards drinkers or just a good parent?
I would bet that anyone with a rational mind would say, "I was just being a good parent."
So, my question is this: Why can't Christians put their foot down when the very core of their belief and structure is being challenged? Why can't they say, "We don't want our children and our grandchildren exposed any more than they need to be?"
No one complains when they put advisory labels on CDs. No one holds rallies and yells profanities when they label TV shows as G rated or TV 14. No one cries "bigot" when they tell cigarette companies not to angle their advertisements towards teenagers. And no one should blame Christians for finally sticking up for themselves and saying enough is enough.
This same-sex marriage issue has turned into one of hate. One side claiming that the other side is hateful when in reality, it is the exact opposite. The Christians are showing love towards future generations. They are putting the advisory labels on certain behavior and rating them as MA (mature audiences only).
Anybody has the free agency to watch an MA show but what they don't have the free agency to do is show it to everyone on the big screen of life.
This is where I stand on this issue. I will stand up, wave signs, go door to door, and send out mailers when I believe my children and their children are in danger of being put into situations where someone or some group is forcing their way into mainstream.
I'm glad that someone stood up against 2 Live Crew and said, "We are putting an advisory label on your CD."
I'm glad that someone stood up to the TV networks and said, "You need to rate every one of your TV shows."
And I'm hoping that in 20 years, someone will say to all of us Christians, "I'm glad that you stood up for marriage and protected our families."
10 comments:
Sweet post. You ARE a good parent! :)
Damn annonymous for making us have to go through "blogger approval"!
...you don't have to approve this one btw
I don't like to comment on people's blogs, call it a confidence issue??? But I just wanted to let you know that I do read your blog and I always enjoy what you have to say. I think you are an excellent writer with thought-provoking posts. You are the one who got me fired up about Prop 8, so that I, even with morning sickness, knocked doors in my free time. And I find myself nodding in agreement as I read all that you have to say. Keep on writing!!
As a "bit" of a rebel in my younger days, I believe that steering your children towards children who share your beliefs is a step to helping them make sound decisions. However, some "street smarts" don't come with the LDS gene. Occasionally, afer 12 years of marriage, I need to translate for Maxine what is going on. Sometimes, I need to translate for Shackie.
In regards to the smoking issue...We had a friend whose father passed away after a bout with lung cancer & emphysema. After the lung transplant, we explained to our girls what a diseased lung looks like when compared to a healthy lung. If I could only find a diseased liver...
That is an awesome way to put it Jon. I am totally going to use this arguement--because prop 8 is apparently not going away!
Dro,
I personally enjoy listening to 2 live crew and EZE with you in your car on the way to our golf trips.
Judge the behavior , not the person. hopefully our children are taught to love and be tolerant of all people, but not some of their behaviors.
good post Dro, who are they to tell us what we should be exposing our children to?
PS- Does this mean I can't make anymore gay jokes? if so, you're gay!! shackie
We judge people everyday and must for our own safety and the safety of others. When the guy in the car swerves in and out of your lane, you give him plenty of space and try to get away from him. When you see someone who looks dangerous on the streets you walk a different direction. When someone asks you for a loan you have to evaluate whether that person is going to pay you back.
It is critical that we make these decisions. Perhaps we over generalize. Maybe the guy in the car ahead of you just spilled coffee in his lap and isn't drunk or a bad driver. I, however, am not going to give him the benefit of the doubt and risk getting killed. I have made the wrong decision on the scary guy on the street and got mugged at gun point (yes he was black and when I see other black guys early in the morning with hoodies and dirty jeans I run - guess I racially prejudice). And I have made the unpaid loan. It is impossible for us to live life without judging and make reasonable decisions based on limited exposure and, to some degree, stereotype. If you don't you are no better then Lenny Small from "Of Mice and Men" - tell me about the rabbits George.
So - on Prop 8. I have been around many homosexuals in my life. Whether through my time in musical theater, living in San Francisco for 12 years, going to a highly progressive law school in San Francisco (Hastings), or having two lesbian bosses for a year and a half (and listening to them argue about doing the dishes in staff meeting - btw as and aside: This couple was planning on adopting a child. When a child became available they were just leaving on vacation. They asked their dog sitter if she would be willing to pick up the baby and watch him until they got home. Thankfully the dog sitter said no, they decided to go on vacation and not get the baby.). Many gays and lesbians are friends whom I think are great people.
Most, however, are highly promiscuous with multiple partners, are predatory sexually, tend to be highly self-centered pre madonnas, and are quite materialistic. Gays have also been significantly responsible for the spread of a major public health epidemic because of their behavior (AIDS) which has cost society and taxpayers billions of dollars. They are neither apologetic not looking to provide compensation. Instead the seek the help and pity of non-gays to help them with their "burden".
I don't mean this to be hurtful or hateful. I am just trying to be honest. Its look in the mirror time. I recognize that I as a Mormon will initially be judged as self-righteous, close-minded, and as having a persecution complex. These judgments of us as a people are probably not far off. I don't get mad about it, I look at myself and try to recognize those poisonous qualities in me, amend them and help people amend their initial stereotypes of me.
The gays and their fellow crusaders are so focused on their failure to appropriate a word (they have all of the rights of married couples under California law) that they are driving people out of their jobs, vandalizing property and spending countless hours protesting during one of the most painful times in our nation's history (economy, war). This is very myopic and self-centered and only serves to reinforce the stereotypes I have of them. It's time to stop the rhetoric and get a grip!
Sorry for the long post. And anonymous, sorry, I don't have a blog for you write your garbage about me on.
Greg, best comment ever.
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